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YOU KNOW YOU’RE A VETERAN WHEN...

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A VETERAN WHEN...

1. Your stable belt doesn’t fit anymore. It just props your beer belly.
2. You say, ‘say again’ instead of 'pardon me?'
3. You’re making a bed, it’s hospital corners, always.
4. When people don't form an orderly line, you want to scream.
5. You don't use an umbrella and never will.
6. You turn into a drill Sergeant when you’re on a family holiday.
7. You’re able to find things in the dark.
8. You have to make a call to 999, it stops being a phone call and becomes a radio conversation… over.
9. You have a pocket full of nub ends.
10. You shave in the shower.
11. Your missus has to remind you, ‘If you wear that combat jacket, you’ll look like a Walt.’
12. You take a different route home each night.
13. You think a six-pack a night is ‘normal.’
14. You've told the same story, seven different times, to the same people.
15. You take the wife on the ration run to Tesco.
16. You refer to those who haven’t served as civvies, even though you are now a civvy.
17. When pay day comes around it’s proper fags instead of roll ups.
18. You still call clip boards, Mill boards.
19. You refer to the cheap coffee as G10 coffee.
20. A sewing kit is a housewife.
21. A bed is a Pit.
22. Bosses are Ruperts.
23. You’re not drunk, you’re shit faced.
24. You only ever need one piece of bog roll.
25. You can spark up a fag in gale force winds with no effort

Comment below to add your own tell tale signs of being a veteran. 

TOP TIPS FOR ANYONE JOINING THE ARMY

TOP TIPS FOR ANYONE JOINING THE ARMY
The bloke with a funny stick, who has a badge on his right wrist and shouts alot. It’s because he’s very insecure and a little. intimidated by you. He really wants to be your friend. You should call him “mate” every time you see him, to let him know your an ok guy…

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