Just follow these simple rules and you'll be top student.
1. The bloke with a funny stick, who has a badge on his right wrist and shouts alot. It’s because he’s very insecure and a little. intimidated by you. He really wants to be your friend. You should call him “mate” every time you see him, to let him know your an ok guy…
2. When out Tabbing.. ask the PTI if he has anything in his began.
3. When asked if cold, reply “yes”. They will give you a jacket.
4. Tell them you prestiged level 5 on Call of Duty, so technically you’ve done a tour.
5. If you mention you were in cadets, you’ll get promoted quicker.
6. Tell the RSM it’s your grass and you’ll walk on it if you feel like it.
7. Ask for a motorbike licence.
8. Make sure you ask the sergeant major on Monday morning if you can knock off early on Friday.
9. Call everybody “fella”.
10. If you get a chance, always volunteer.
11. The training Cpls job is to make everyone’s bed when you are having breakfast. If however, upon returning to your room the Cpl has not made your bed, then see the Sgt and tell him you’re not happy.
12. Pockets are there for keeping your hands warm so use them.
13. Call everyone biff .. It’s slang for mate. PTIs especially.
14. Call ammunition “bullets” and lean your “gun” against every wall. If you lay it on the floor, lay it cocking handle down and your instructors will applaud you.
15. If you see any paras, kindly compliment them on their pink berets and T-shirts.
16. Tell the corporals you were a sergeant in cadets. They have to call you by your rank.
17. Put juice in your water bottle for PT, more energy means more push-ups.
18. Make sure you salute your Sergeant to show a sign of respect, they love it…oh and don’t forget to do the same to the RSM.
19. When on PT, always run ahead of the PTI…he’ll be really impressed with your fitness levels.
20. Tell all staff you were a Para in cadets and show them your reg tattoo.
21. Bring a selection of your finest airsoft weaponry to demo correct marksmanship principles to your section commanders-they’ll be impressed with the skills you’ve already picked up.
22. Provost staff love banter ie arguing back and telling them their boots look shit it’s an age old tradition to address them as dick lips too.
23. Tell your section commander you’ve read bravo two zero, and you don’t need his bull shit
24. Call your platoon Sergeant “sarge” .. He will love that.
25. When on the ranges make ready with your right hand and if an instructor tells you otherwise, say “don’t worry, I’ve seen it done that way on CoD.
26. If you have any DS who are Paras, make sure you call them a “hat”, its a mark or respect.
27. Creases look good on your combat bottoms, so do two on each leg.
28. The army is a lot like prison (in more ways than one), it’s all about respect. So on the first day, find out who the toughest instructor is (it’s usually the officer), knock him out and stand over him declaring him to be “your bitch” and you’ll be running the Army from now on.
29. Corporals love it when you give them tips from your cadet training. Oh Bring photos of your mum.
30. Get sleep whenever you can!! Waiting for a room inspection? Why not climb into bed for a quick nap while you wait? It’s all about concurrent activity.
Comment below if you have any other sound advice or solid tips for anyone joining the army and don't forget to SHARE!